What is Sex Therapy? And Where To Find A Sex Therapist

Written By: Sofia Arlo | December 21, 2025

image of a sex therapist sitting in her chair with a clipboard

Table Of Content

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. If you need personal guidance, consult a qualified professional; if you’re in immediate danger or have an emergency, contact local emergency services.

What Is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy that addresses sexual concerns by exploring the psychological, emotional, relational, and cultural factors that shape a person’s sex life, rather than focusing only on physical symptoms. It is evidence-based and practiced by trained mental health practitioners.

Sex therapy can address a wide range of concerns, including low desire, difficulties with arousal or orgasm, pain during sex, performance anxiety, and mismatched libidos. Both individuals and couples can seek help via sex therapy.

When appropriate, therapists may pursue medical collaboration with professionals like gynecologists or urologists to account for hormonal, neurological, or other physical contributors.

Finding Sex Therapists Near Me

Coming Soon

Sex Therapist vs Sexologist: What’s the Difference?

Online, there’s a lot of confusion about what a sex therapist is versus what a sexologist is. Many people assume the terms mean the same thing, but they don’t.

image of a sex therapists with a patient and on the right side a sexologist in her lab

The main difference is the type of work they do: a sex therapist primarily provides psychotherapy for sexual concerns, while a sexologist works in the broader science of human sexuality, often through research, education, public health, or consulting.

License and education is another key distinction. Sex therapists are typically licensed mental health clinicians with vetted clinical education and supervised training. By contrast, “sexologist” is not a legally protected title in many places, so while many sexologists do have extensive formal education, others may not, meaning training and qualifications can vary widely.

In terms of day-to-day work, sex therapists usually run sessions with clients, assess symptoms, and use therapeutic techniques to help them make changes. Sexologists, on the other hand, may lecture, write, research, create educational materials, or consult with organizations. Their research may explore sexual behavior, relationships, sexual functioning, and related biology (like hormones, arousal, and physiology).

That said, there is also overlap: some professionals are both, for example, a licensed therapist who also researches sexuality or teaches as a sexologist.

Is Sex Therapy Only for Couples?

Sex therapy is not only for couples, it’s for individuals too. You don’t need to be in a relationship to work on sexual issues, and many of the most common issues are actually individual, such as low desire, performance anxiety, difficulty reaching orgasm, pain during sex, feelings of shame, or concerns around porn or compulsive sexual behaviors.

sex therapist in her office with a couple client

It can also be a strong tool for confidence and self-understanding, helping people work through body image, anxiety, beliefs about sex, or habits that affect sexual well-being. For singles, sex therapy can be especially useful for building healthier patterns before dating, like clearer communication, stronger boundaries, and better decision-making around intimacy.

While couples do often attend sex therapy together, especially for mismatched libidos, communication problems, or repeated conflict around sex, it’s not required. Many people start therapy on their own and later bring a partner once it feels relevant or helpful.

Common Reasons People Seek Sex Therapy

If you’re unsure whether sex therapy is relevant for you, the list below can help you get a sense of the most common reasons people reach out. Please keep in mind these are just examples, if your situation isn’t listed, that doesn’t mean sex therapy can’t help or that your concern isn’t worth addressing.

For individuals

Low sexual desire or loss of libido
Sudden drop in interest in sex after stress or burnout
Difficulty getting aroused
Difficulty reaching orgasm
Pain during sex
Vaginismus / involuntary muscle tightening
Erectile difficulties
Premature ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation
Performance anxiety
Fear of intimacy or avoidance of sexual situations
Shame, guilt, or embarrassment about sex
Strict upbringing or negative beliefs about sexuality
Body image insecurity affecting sexual confidence
Difficulty communicating needs or preferences
Wanting to explore desires or fantasies safely
Confusion around sexual preferences or turn-ons
Recovering sexual confidence after a breakup or betrayal
Healing after a negative sexual experience
Managing compulsive sexual behaviors or porn overuse concerns
Stress, anxiety, or depression impacting sex
Medication side effects affecting libido or orgasm
Hormonal or life-stage changes (postpartum, menopause, aging)
Sexual difficulties related to illness, surgery, or chronic pain
Difficulty dating or building sexual connection with new partners
Wanting a healthier relationship with masturbation

For couple

a distressed couple in their bedroom needing a sex therapist

Mismatched libidos (one wants sex more than the other)
Different preferences or incompatible turn-ons
Repeated rejection cycles and hurt feelings around sex
Loss of spark or intimacy in long-term relationships
Sex feels routine, pressured, or “transactional”
Difficulty initiating sex (on one or both sides)
Trouble talking about sex without conflict
Resentment or unresolved relationship conflict affecting sex
Trust issues after cheating or broken agreements
Rebuilding physical intimacy after betrayal
Disagreements about porn use
Disagreements about masturbation or privacy
Navigating open relationships or non-monogamy agreements
Boundaries and jealousy problems in non-monogamy
Differences in sexual adventurousness or risk tolerance
Pain during sex affecting the couple’s intimacy
Erectile or orgasm difficulties impacting the relationship dynamic
Performance pressure caused by expectations or past patterns
Pregnancy/postpartum changes impacting desire and comfort
Menopause or aging-related changes affecting sex and connection
Mismatched schedules, exhaustion, or parenting overload killing intimacy
Recovery after illness, disability, or surgery changes sexual function
Feeling emotionally disconnected and wanting closeness again
Struggles with affection, touch, or non-sexual intimacy
Negotiating frequency, variety, and “what counts” as sex
Addressing recurring arguments triggered by sex-related topics
Relearning pleasure-focused sex after years of stress

What to Expect in Sex Therapy

The first session usually starts with you explaining what brought you in and what you’d like to change or improve. Early on, the therapist will clarify boundaries, you can always say, and how their sessions in particular typically work. Sex therapy is talk therapy only, with no sexual contact. By the end of the session (or within the first few sessions), you’ll usually agree on a treatment plan, such as individual sessions, couples sessions, or a mix, along with what progress could realistically look like.

Ongoing treatment often involves the therapist asking more detailed questions about your symptoms, relationship context, stress levels, mental health, relevant medical history, and sexual background, only to the extent you feel comfortable sharing, of course. Together, you’ll look for contributing factors such as anxiety, communication patterns, shame, past experiences, hormones or medication, sleep, and relationship dynamics.

The goal is often to first understand where the issue is coming from, and then work on resolving it or building practical coping tools to reduce distress. You may also get “homework,” like communication exercises, journaling, mindfulness, or structured intimacy exercises to try privately. Techniques can include CBT-based tools, breathing strategies, gradual exposure, and reframing expectations, and if pain or sexual functioning issues suggest a medical component, the therapist may recommend collaborating with a doctor.

Over time, sessions typically shift from assessment to practice—reviewing what you tried, adjusting strategies, and regularly checking what’s improving, what’s stuck, and what to do next.

Myths and Misconceptions About Sex Therapy

Myth 1: Sex therapy is a physical treatment.

Reality: Legitimate sex therapy is talk-based only. There is no sexual contact in sessions.

Myth 2: Sex therapy only focuses on sex.

Reality: It often involves emotions, stress, anxiety, relationship dynamics, past experiences, and communication, because those frequently affect sex.

Myth 3: Sex therapy guarantees a fix.

Reality: It helps many concerns, but some issues need a combined approach (therapy + medical care + relationship work), and outcomes vary by person and situation. At the end of the day, the therapist will guide you, but the results are dependent on you (and your partner).

Myth 4: Sex Therapy is only for medical issues related to sex

Reality: Many people go for non-medical reasons like stress, confidence, shame, desire differences, or relationship concerns.

Myth 5: All sex therapists have the same training & education.

Reality: Qualifications vary. Look for a licensed mental health professional with specific sex-therapy training and reputable certification (e.g., AASECT in the U.S.).

Myth 6: Sex therapy is only for “serious” sexual problems.

Reality: It’s for anyone who wants support with sexual well-being, intimacy, communication, or changes in their sex life, big or small.

Sex Therapy vs Sex Coaching

We’ve covered sex therapy in depth, so by now it should be clear that it’s a form of psychotherapy designed to help people work through sexual concerns and relationship challenges.

Sex coaching on the other hand is much more skills-focused, aimed mainly at improving couples sex lives and maximizing pleasure. In couples coaching, that often means learning how to communicate about sex, improving initiation, creating better foreplay routines with the right pacing, variety, and focus on what actually works for each partner.

Many coaches use “pleasure mapping” to clarify turn-ons, turn-offs, alongside practical sex education around anatomy, arousal, lubrication, and common myths about what each body type finds arousing.

It's not uncommon for sex coaches to give tips and techniques for sexual practices such as hand jobs, blowjobs, different sex positions, anal sex and other sexual practices.

And if a couple feels stuck in a routine or wants to explore new kinks, a coach can suggest fresh ideas, and help them approach new kinks safely. (Note: If you and your partner want fresh ideas for new sexual activities to try, check out our free couples sex quiz with 175 questions)

How Does One Become A Sex Therapist

Becoming a sex therapist usually starts the same way as becoming any licensed psychotherapist: you earn a relevant graduate degree (e.g., psychology, psychiatry), complete supervised clinical training, and become licensed to practice psychotherapy in your region.

From there, you typically add specialized sex-therapy training, often including structured education in human sexuality, followed by dedicated sex-therapy skills training.

There are dedicated professional organizations, such as the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), that outline training standards and certification pathways for sex therapists.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a sex therapist?

A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who uses psychotherapy to help with sexual concerns and intimacy-related distress.

What does a sex therapist do?

They help clients understand what’s driving the issue, improve communication, and build strategies to reduce distress and improve intimacy.

How do you become a sex therapist?

Most paths include a graduate clinical degree, licensure to practice psychotherapy, and specialized training in sex therapy (often through recognized organizations like AASECT).

Does online sex therapy work?

It can work well for many concerns because sessions are talk-based, but medical symptoms (like pain) may also require an in-person medical evaluation.

Is sex therapy only for couples?

No, individuals commonly go to sex therapy for desire, anxiety, orgasm difficulties, pain, shame, or to build healthier patterns around intimacy.